Wonder Woman- Good for Girls?

As a feminist I have a love-hate relationship with Wonder Woman.  She is fraught with problems but so amazing, too.  With the new release of Wonder Woman (2017) the world is talking about her more than ever.  As much as I want to love Wonder Woman, here are a few unhelpful things she teaches women:

1. Outlaw Men.  Wonder Woman's world has outlawed men.  This perpetuates the problem of him vs. her without offering solutions on how to live together as equals.  The sister-power thing has some value for me, but the movie downplays the sisterhood stuff a lot (see the great article in Quartz, The New Wonder Woman Movie is Strangely Uninterested in Sisterhood).  
2. Women Can't Carry Real Weapons.  Wonder Woman may have always been a closet pacifist, but one who carries a whip a la Cat Woman (ok, just a sexy rope).  Her other weapon is the shackles of patriarchy WRIST GUARDS.  That's right.  Her main weapon is her defensive jewelry.  Thankfully, Gal Gadot gets to carry a sword and shield.  It's about time.  To be fair, Wonder Woman has used a lot of different weapons over the years, but her main thing is definitely the rope and bracelets.
3. Girls Fight Sexy.  My number one beef with Wonder Woman is the same I have with most female action figures or heroes.  They are all sexy and beautiful beyond belief to the standards of Hollywood.  They don't bleed, they give lots of panty and boob shots and they hardly ever sweat.  When will real women be recognized as super heroes?  And when will they show the sweat?  Check out this great article from the NY Times, Women Who Have the Chops (and the Punches and the Kicks. NYT interviews some great women of action films and shares why they do the films they do. Michelle Rodriguez tells us it's hard to find good roles for women because male writers usually kill them off if they're not attached to somebody. Michelle Yeoh shares that she finds value in playing more complex roles showing women who are smart as well as strong. Charlize Theron reminds us to show our bruises. Good stuff. And can I just say- let's see more Ronda Rousey on screen!

So how do we talk to our girls (and your boys) about this? I haven't seen Wonder Women with my super-girls, yet, but I'll let you know how the conversation goes. At our house girls can do anything. They dance, do flips, build space ships, wield swords, wrestle, climb mountains and so much more. I always remind my girls: be strong, be brave, be beautiful you. Girls growing up everywhere, you are my real superheroes.

What do you think about Wonder Woman? Is she empowering women or perpetuating patriarchal problems?

My Little Wonder Women

Mommy Don't Go! How to Say Goodbye...

It's always hard to say goodbye to Mommy.  When I began going to the gym in the evenings last fall we ran into some separation anxiety with our little Baby Rain.  I recently began to work outside the home (just a few nights a week) which meant my absence was felt not just during bedtime, but also during dinner and the hour beyond.

While Grace-girl, almost 7, is now old enough to understand reason (she still misses her Mama, sometimes, and has always been a fairly sensitive child), Baby Rain is not quite 3 and still has strong feelings about the subject!  So this mama did what any good mama would do.  I requested a bunch of books from the local library.  Your library has them too!  Search under "separation anxiety" or ask your children's librarian for suggestions.  Most books in this category are geared towards the first day of school, but I've found that these are equally helpful for little ones as they don't really know the difference between "school" and "playing at someone's house."  Books about loss are also good for this category (Think: Knuffle Bunny and Have You Seen Duck?, a current favorite at our house).

Some Favorite Books at Our House:

The first two are not specifically related to "school" but rather are simply how little ones cope with missing Mommy.  For the record, there are GREAT books about kiddos missing Daddy or other caregivers.  These just really hit home for my kids and me since I'm their primary caregiver.  

• Owl Babies has been in my arsenal for awhile.  This book was a favorite with both girls at the toddler stage.  It really helps them grasp the idea that Mommy always comes back.  We do have to learn to wait and be patient and maybe even worry a little, but every kid who's read this book can repeat Bill's special line, "I want my Mommy!"  Some of the illustrations are dark (owls are nocturnal, afterall), but never scary.  My favorite picture is the one at the end when the baby owls dance around on their branch.  Pure elation!  Mama has returned!

• Piglet and Mama was/is another fave for both my girls.  In this case, Mama appears to be lost, but in the end she was looking for piglet the whole time.  In this sweet story, Piglet meets several other animals around the farm who offer her an activity to share with their own little ones, but each time it simply says, "But Piglet wanted her Mama."  For some reason I always inextricably insert a "No thank you" before piglet asserts her desire for Mommy.  No need to be rude, after all!  The playful illustrations add a lightness to the story rather than a scary element for the sensitive crowd.  The simplicity is winsome and not tiring at all.

• Llama Llama Misses Mama is a sweet story I found in my recent search for books about this topic.  I do love that sweet, passionate little llama.  Who doesn't?  The illustrations in this book are so exquisite that you can almost taste the tears running down little Llama's face when, finally, "it was all too much for little Llama" and he breaks down crying at the snack table at his new preschool.  All is well in the end, of course, when his new friends gather round him and the teacher reminds him that his mama will come back at the end of the day.  The scene of their reunion is a mess of tossed crayons and joyful exuberance.  Love it.  And in the end Llama Llama decides he loves Mama AND school.  

These last two I like because they give you an action point- they remind you that you can DO something about missing Mommy.  These are better for kids who are a bit older (stories are longer), perhaps more school-age, but still apply to little ones as well.

• The Kissing Hand is a classic book about little raccoon who is heading off to his first day of school.  Of course, Raccoon school is at night!  Again, the illustrations are beautiful and the story poignant.  Mama gives little Raccoon a special kiss that will remind him of her throughout his night at school.  This is a sweet story that also allows reciprocation for little Raccoon to give Mama a special kiss of her own so she won't miss him too much, either.  And off he scampers to school.

• The Kiss Box is about a mother who has to go away for awhile and how she soothes the concerns of her little bear.  Finally the little bear decides to make a box to store the kisses in that she will send when she is away.  This is a strategy that has worked in my family, too.  Only I like to cut out tiny paper hearts and fill the kiss boxes with both real kisses and the paper reminders.

Now that you know how to help your little one cope with separation- how do you deal with it?  Come visit me at my other blog for help with that one!

Healthy snacks- a hands-on lesson

We recently hosted a little play-date at our house where I was invited to talk to the kids about nutrition and healthy food choices.  We moms take turns each week and some weeks are more structured than others.  This was a structured one.

1. First I read the girls a book about how bread is made and I read them Herb the Vegetarian Dragon (a fave for kids who like to stick up for their healthy choices).  
2. Then we made bread (with quick-rising dough).  While it was rising we talked about the new USDA Food Pyramid and I had them touch items from each category (grains, protein, dairy, fruits and vegetables).  
3. Of course we ate some healthy snacks from all the categories.
4. We got to punch down our bread and talk about what a great anger management tool it is!  
5. The kids each took home a loaf to bake with their initials carved on top (no time to finish it at my house) and they each took home a food pyramid coloring sheet and bookmark (tons of stuff on the USDA website!).

Overall it was a very fun playdate and the kids walked away with some information and fun stuff to take home.  We kept the bread very simple and the girls had time to play in between each of the activities.  Not every play-date goes so smoothly, but things tend to run better when I'm more organized!  What's a favorite activity you like to do at play-dates?  Or do you prefer a free-play time?

Don't YOU have a dream, Mommy?

   

Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.

How do you explain the significance of this holiday to a 4 year old?

Maybe you don't need to.

Maybe she just needs to witness her mama sitting in the car in the parking lot at the grocery store, crying her eyes out to the tune of,

I have a dream

that my four little children will one day live in a nation 

where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, 

but by the content of their character.

Maybe it's enough.  Dear God, please let it be enough.  Let this man's life stand as a witness not just to racial prejudice, but also to moral and economic injustice.  Let my kids see the better world they live in, instead of the worse one.

Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that. 

Then I remembered standing in my kitchen, the night Barack Obama was named the next president of the United States and I turned to my husband and said, "this is an amazing moment in history, and here we are standing in the middle of it."

Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.

I remember a class full of Navajo kids.  We sang Jesus Loves me in Navajo.  I still remember the syllables, carefully burned into my memory.  But mostly I remember wishing that I could live in the dorms like the other kids.

We must learn to live together as brothers or perish together as fools.

Fast forward to that parking lot, again, today.  I found myself doing the cliche...
"Martin was kind of like Jesus, honey.  He didn't get to come back to life, but his story will never end."

My husband finally turned off the radio and we went in to buy our new running shoes and bananas and whatever other inconsequential stuff was on our list today.
But I hope my girl will remember.  Today is about a dream.  What's your dream?

I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear.

Epiphany- or "Christmas ain't over yet..."

This past fall I decided we were going to celebrate "Epiphany" this year.  Also known as 3 King's Day, Epiphany is rarely celebrated in our country, but still widely known other places.  Epiphany means (among other things) "sudden appearance" or "divine manifestation."  Epiphany falls on January 6, 12 days following Christmas Day, and is now celebrated as the day the wise-men apparently made their appearance in Bethlehem to visit the Christ Child.  We know now that it probably wasn't until a few years later that the wise men actually came to Judea, but this is still a fun holiday to celebrate. 

 In our little homeschool classroom, I've been using Epiphany as an excuse to get back on track with school this winter.  There is an urban legend that tells us the 12 Days of Christmas song (counting the 12 days leading up to Epiphany) is really a subversive song describing basic Christian doctrine.  Whether it is or not, this is a great opportunity to teach little ones about the Christian faith.   After taking too much time off for holiday travel, I needed some inspiration.  So, here's what we've been doing:

• Studying the basic tenets of our faith using the song (and the book, above).  We've been learning that a Partridge in a Pear Tree can also symbolize Jesus on the Cross... so on and so forth.
• After we sadly demolished our Christmas tree (a New Year's tradition we have involving a bonfire), we began to create an ornament for each of the 12 Days of Christmas to hang on our little lemon tree (you could use a branch or houseplant, too).  For example, we made a little scroll with four birds on it to symbolize the 4 calling birds (symbolizing Matthew, Mark, Luke and John and their gospel stories).
• There is a ton of material online to help teach the subject of the 3 Wise Men, including the great story of Artaban, the 4th Wise-man, who was waylaid in his journey by people who needed his help.  We've been using his story to learn about ways we can help others in need.  The Russian folk tale of Babushka (top of the page) is another great story relating to the same concept. 
• This has been a great opportunity to review the numbers (forward and backward) 1-12 and practice writing them!  We're also revisiting the calendar as we count the days to Epiphany.  We could add in some astronomy, too, but I didn't get that organized this year.
• Finally, we plan to end our study of the 12 Days and Epiphany with a little 3 Kings party!  We'll dress up as kings and queens, have a picnic (indoors) of travel food like hummus, dried fruit, etc. and we'll act out the story of the wise-men greeting the Christ-child.  We'll make sparkly stars to take home as a reminder of the journey the wise-men took and we might even do a little map of our trip (if I get motivated).  The children will leave with small gifts.  

Do you celebrate Epiphany?  What does your tradition look like?  How do you extend your holidays to last a little longer?  How do you teach your children about faith?  I'd love to hear your thoughts!  Blessings~ Tori

Little Star

This seems to be my week for book reviews (check out my other blog)- which I would happily do anytime, by the way!  Part of living a "Barefoot" life, one that thrives on intention, creativity and community, is reading lots of books!  The latest book from Anthony DeStefano reminds me that Christmas is just around the corner.  We adore Christmas at our house, so I'm always happy to find a new book to add to our Christmas book box. 

This story is about a little star who struggles to be noticed by the other stars until one day he, the unlikely hero, notices the One, an unlikely savior.  Little Star recognizes that greatness is not determined by your size or importance, but by who you are born to be, and he gets to reap the benefit of that lesson. It is nice to find a unique Christmas book with such a great lesson to learn.

I enjoyed the idea of this book, though the illustrations unevenly alternate between looking old-fashioned-dark and overly-cartoonish.  Maybe they are just not my style.  DeStefano attempts to weave a tale of triumph that resonates in some parts but is sidetracked in others ("twinkle-talk"?) by some awkward moments (I doubt a star would keep a baby warm) and formulaic plotting.

My resident children's book expert (4 year old daughter) seemed unimpressed and did not ask to read it again, though we did our usual "unpacking" of the story, which she enjoyed.

All in all I think it is a sweet, fairly biblically accurate book, and I know it will make a great gift under the tree for the little book lover in your life.

Planet Homeschool

Somehow my homeschool classroom has become centered around science.  It must be what interests my eldest student most (the youngest being a mere 10 weeks old), since she's managed to finagle all sorts of unit studies out of me (how do strawberries grow?  Why do trees lose their leaves?  I want to learn about being an astronaut!  I want to be a doctor... etc.).  You can learn reading, writing and arithmetic using just about any subject, but it's easier to create interest around those things when the subject is fun for the student.  Recently we've been learning about space, mostly because I wanted to teach about calendars and time, so we had to understand how time works, first.  I divided the awesomely vast subject into a few days (we could have taken a whole year):

1) Planet Earth- from the inside out- rocks and minerals, continents, basic geography, etc.  Very basic overview.  We reviewed our volcano study from earlier this summer, too.

2) The planets and our solar system- names of the planets, the name origin, how planets orbit and spin, etc, time and weight, gravity, etc.

3) Stars and other bodies- primary focus on constellations and space exploration.

NASA is an amazing resource online, but not the only one, that shows actual video and interactive activities about space exploration and our solar system.  A simple google search yields many great sites for kids.

Of course, we read lots of books at our house.  So here are three of my favorite storytelling books, one for each day above, about space.  Every subject in school deserves good stories!

1. Whole World  This is a Barefoot Books rendition of the old classic song.  The focus here is on stewardship and also on the various environments of our planet.  The song is catchy, of course, and the illustrations quirky and fun.  It opens the door to all sorts of discussion about what our planet is all about and how we can practice planetary stewardship.  There is also a workbook to accompany the book, but it's a little advanced for my darling student.

2.  Star Seeker is a Barefoot Books title that truly is a journey- beautiful illustrations of the planets and a lyrical story that keeps the imagination going long after the book has ended.  The end notes have tons of scientific data about our solar system and beyond, successfully linking story to science.  Hooray! 

3.  Zoo in the Sky is a great book about the constellations.  My daughter used this book to develop her own constellation pictures, which is actually quite easy for a four-year-old since they can be fairly abstract.  Again, lots of info at the back to blend science and story.  This book has great illustrations showing actual star placement within the constellations.

Of course we read lots of non- fiction books, too, about astronauts, planets and space.  I can't wait to revisit this topic when we come back to it in a few years!  And a year is 365 days, a day is 24 hours, an hour is 60 minutes, a minute is 60 seconds, etc... what better way to learn about time than through stories?  Happy storytelling!

Princesses and Dragons

Princesses and Dragons abound in our house.  If a day goes by that my four year old doesn't dress up as a princess, I assume she's sick.  We play Cinderella, Beauty and the Beast, and many others including an old classic- Sleeping Beauty.  Sometimes (ok- OFTEN) I get very tired of playing out these stories with her (though Cinderella does like to help with chores).  I'm always in search of new ways to re-create the old tales.  Here's my pick of the week:  Snoring Beauty.  It's not a Barefoot Book, but it is absolutely wonderful to read again and again.  The classic tale of Sleeping Beauty is waylaid by a hearing-challenged fairy who turns the curse of "death by pie-wagon" into "sleeping dragon" who can only be awakened by a "quince" rather than the traditional "prince."  The story is hilarious, the illustrations are perfectly matched to the story.  The funky fairies absolutely steal the show: Hexus and Blexus, Nostrilene and Umpudine, Fleabitis and Tintinnitus, and Fred (who wasn't really a fairy, but no one had the heart to tell him).  So, if you're tired of playing princess, try out Snoring Beauty.

If you haven't read it, yet...

This is an amazing book! The Jesus Storybook Bible is a great Bible for kids of all ages (my mom loves it as does my 3 year old). Whether you read the Bible for the cultural experience or because of your faith, this is a great addition to your bookshelf! Sally Lloyd Jones is a wonderful storyteller and gives these classic Bible stories a twist that is irresistibly fun and easy to read. Artist Jago maintains cultural accuracy (sometimes hard to find in Bible books for kids) with a beautiful color palette and style that holds the attention of even more rambunctious toddlers. Good news- The Jesus Storybook Bible is being re-released as a deluxe edition with an audio cd featuring David Suchet. Some samples are available on the website. There are some publicity contests going on, so check it out on the website and join in! If I win I promise to share with you all!

Bedside Storytelling

One of my favorite things about my addiction to children's books (not just Barefoot Books!) is the great storytelling I encounter. The books that stand the test of time, and the test of patience, are the ones that are great stories. Barefoot has MANY in this category (Mama Panya's Pancakes, Herb the Vegetarian Dragon, and hundreds of others). Some of the best stories come from our own imagination. Often, at my daughter's bedtime, I find my own eyes closing. Reality blurs with imagination, and I sometimes find it is easy to conjur a great tale.

Tonight my daughter requested a story about a horse (lately we've been giving her a choice of an animal and allowing the story to unfold naturally. Lately she's been choosing a horse). Daddy told the story, tonight. Here it is:

Once upon a time there was a horse. The horse lived on a farm with a barn, stables, fields and many other animals. The big strong horse worked hard for the farmer, year after year, plowing diligently in the fields, day after day, never complaining. The farmer always gave him the best oats and brushed his coat every day. The horse believed that he was made for this: for hard work, great rewards, and a gentle life. One day, the farmer said to the horse, "would you like to go run in the pasture?" The horse tossed his mane. "I never thought of it, before," he replied. "But I suppose I could try it." So, with a kind smile, the farmer led the old horse to the wide open pasture and released him. The old horse began with a pleasant trot, enjoying the sunshine and open space. Then he saw a bluebird. The little bluebird said, "oh great horse, I bet you can't run faster than I can fly!" So the horse began to chase him. He ran faster and faster, pushing his limits, breathing harder and harder, sweat glistening on his flanks. He chased the bird across the pasture where he finally met an open gate at the other end, leading out into a deep green field, surrounded by forest. But the mighty horse stopped. The horse remembered the farmer. He remembered the farmer's kindness, always giving him the best feed and gently brushing his coat every night. The mighty horse tossed his head and turned. He ran back to the farmer at the other end of the field. The farmer greeted his old friend with a smile. "Why did you come back?" The horse replied, "I ran all the way to the other end of the field. I realized for the first time that I was made for this, to run free. The air tasted sweet, the sky was blue, but I remembered you. Your kindness, always giving me the best oats, and your gentleness, brushing my coat every night. I thought maybe I ought to come back and keep working for you as I have all these years." The farmer lovingly stroked the mighty horse's nose. "Ah, old friend, your time plowing is through. You passed the test and came home to me. It's time to do what you were made to do. Go run." The horse tossed his head, turned and ran and ran and ran. Running free, as he was made to do.

Here's an amazing collection of magical horse stories from Barefoot Books, for the nights when your imagination needs a rest, or for an endless number of other good reasons.

When a Story is More than Just a Story

I realized recently that Storytelling can be much more than a way to pass time or something to do when there are no books around -- however improbable that may be since I'm the Barefoot Books lady. I have many memories of lying in my own bed as a child listening to stories, my eyes fighting to stay open against the pull of my imagination.

A few weeks ago June was accidentally exposed to a scary part of Finding Nemo. The scene where Nemo's dad and Dory run into the sharks having a support group meeting is a little disturbing at first glance: all you see is rows and rows of shark teeth and there are definitely scary undertones. We explained carefully that the shark was not going to eat anyone and he was, in fact, a good shark who chose to be gentle with his teeth. Which is true. We skipped the next part where he got a taste of Dory's blood and went berserk.

For the next few weeks June kept asking for stories about sharks and Nemo and fish in general. After endless renditions of gentle sharks seeking approval from family members who just don't understand and some tales of improbable friendships, June finally let it go. She still likes to hear "Nemo Stories" but has moved back to her safe and always available "Princess June" stories.

Storytelling is such a great exercise for my brain as well as June's. Trying to remember the rules of a good story often get me into trouble. Spontaneous storytelling is just more fun! June has an incurable habit of "steering" the story by inserting a who, what or where in the middle of my story. If you've ever tried to tell a story about a fish, a princess, some cookies and a pumpkin patch, you know what I'm talking about. So, here's to late autumn nights in dark bedrooms when sleepy eyes fight against dreamtime and here's to moms and dads who tell stories to their kids. Keep up the good work! Somewhere in that unfathomable childhood imagination, there is some serious work going on. Character building, acceptance of differences, and a greater understanding of the world may be just one story away. Now that's Living Barefoot!

Once upon a time...

Once upon a time there was a girl who kept a flashlight under her pillow. Once upon a time there was a boy who had a fort, stocked with his favorite books. Once upon a time you had a story, too. Take a moment to watch this introduction to Barefoot Books and see if your story is a Barefoot story. Maybe you'll remember the feeling of grass between your toes or bark against your feet. Maybe you'll start keeping a flashlight under your pillow, again. Maybe you'll begin to see your own children build forts of pillows and blankets as your tv becomes dusty and outdated. Dream a Barefoot dream.