5 Tips for Getting Kids Outside

It's a hot topic and one I'm passionate about: getting kids outside.  During the school year our kids are highly structured, pressured and scheduled beyond belief (mine, too) and somehow when summer hits they have forgotten how to be...kids.  Here are some tips for getting your kids outside.

1. Space to play. You don't have to have the perfect yard or a swingset or twenty acres of forested rolling hills for your kids to have fun.  But you do need to create spaces to play.  Our backyard has several areas: dirt pile, mud kitchen, patio with small pool, trampoline, shady tree and climbing tree with swing.  Then you have to let them play there.  Don't worry about keeping it perfect- let your kids have fun in their space.  And do let them play with the hose.  Yes, they'll get muddy.

2. Free time. Seems silly to say it, but don't over structure your kids' time.  It's ok to have a few special activities that you do like swimming lessons or a special camp for a week, but more than one or two activities at a time can make kids feel a little stressed, or at least cause them to forget how to have free time and be bored.  The point is to decompress during the summer months.

3. Special outdoor activities.  Unstructured time is very important, but so is a little structured time.  Plan special trips to nearby outdoor spaces like a favorite park, a creek or river, or a hike.  Plan to stay for awhile.  Give your kid a journal or camera to record some of what they find, take your time and have lunch.  Plan some "quiet time" where kids can be alone and reflect on what they observe.  Maybe bring a special book to read together or do some birdwatching.

4. Invite friends.  When kids start to get bored of the usual thing, invite some friends over.  Have your kids help make homemade popsicles for their friends or build a fort in the back yard.  Bringing friends on a hike can help everyone have more fun and forget the work of hiking while increasing the fun.  Give one of your friends a break from their kids or invite them all along.

5. Lead by example.  That's right.  You need to get outside, too.  Work in the yard while your kids are playing or show them how you climb the tree.  Turn off your device (yes, I know this is a blog) and play with your kids. Plan activities that interest you.  If the big park isn't fun for you, plan a hike or a day at the river with your friends.  Your kids will have fun if you are having fun.

 

                                          

The Big "T": From Home to School

I'm a blogaholic.  Especially when there's a change in the air.  I want to know how everyone ELSE dealt with it. I want to know their tricks and trades.  I need the info, people!  So, this year I'm headed back to work and the girls are going to school.  For the first time.  Ever.  We are all very excited about this big change, though there is some anxiety in it for us all.  Grace-girl will be going into 3rd Grade, Baby Rain to Preschool.  The grieving is real for this mom who has spent the better part of a decade defining myself as a homeschooling, stay-at-home mom.  I'm not worried about the girls being out there, I'm just worried about missing them.  If you want to slog through the grief process with me, check out my other blog.  In the meantime I'm here to share some practical things I've learned and want to try.  A plus: we finally get to share all our school stories with the kids and the first-day-at-school fun and anticipation will be real, not manufactured by mom.

There's not a lot out there about transitioning a kid into public school from homeschool at this age.  There's a fair amount for the high school set, and lots for Kindergartners headed out into the world.  So here's some wisdom decent ideas for helping kids through this transition.  I know my kids really need a healthy dose of transition help right now.

• This is scary for them.  It's new.  So Daddy and I are making the decisions.  We won't slog them through our decision-making about schools and childcare and all that jazz.  They just don't need that burden.  However, we will give them space to voice concerns as these decisions come up.
• We allow space for the anxiety, but we spend more time on the excitement.  Let's focus on the adventure of this new thing and all the fun we'll have!  Grace-Girl is drawing pictures of the things that make her anxious about this transition (missing mommy, not having friends at school, a new routine and structure) and I'm helping her put words to those worries.  We're also developing a plans to ease those burdens.   Here are some:

1. Preparation- I've assured Grace-Girl that we'll meet her teacher and see her classroom before school starts.  Promise.  We will also ask to see what the schedule will look like each day and how transitions in the classroom will look.  Baby Rain will get the same treatment which will help her, too.  Grace-girl is also writing and drawing her anxieties so we can talk about them and get them out in the open.  School supply shopping will help build some anticipation and excitement and also give the girls some ownership over the experience.
2. Parental Involvement- Mom and Dad will be involved at both girls' schools (even preschool).  Fundraisers, events, parent teacher nights- we will be there.  It's important to us to support our neighborhood schools and to care about what our kids are learning.  Just because we work doesn't mean we don't want to be involved with our kids.
3. Something to Look Forward To- For easing the separation, we'll focus on planning mommy-daughter dates and daddy-daughter dates once a month during the fall with each of the girls.  This will be hard for all of us to uphold, but I want them to have something to count the days towards and a reminder that we like to be with them!
4. School Tools- They will each be allowed to carry a "silent buddy" to school.  A small stuffed animal that lives in their bag and doesn't get to come out.  He's just a reminder of home.  Also- I'm making special bracelets for the girls to wear to remind them that Mommy and Daddy love them and that Jesus is always with them.  I haven't worked all that out, yet, but it's rolling around up there in my head.

This is all for now- I'll post up soon as we continue our adventure to the next great thing our family gets to do together!

Some days are like that...

Somehow it's been five months since I updated this blog.  Since then we've had three black eyes, the Seahawks WON the Superbowl, Grace-girl has grown 3 inches and Baby Rain probably more than that.   We survived the holidays, we survived Snowpocalypse.  We even snowboarded a few times.  It's been a busy season in life.  Spring always brings me back to fresh beginnings.
But I'm feeling a little hung up.  Like this little one.

I'm not interested in blogging about my perfect kids and my perfect life and my perfect husband because there is no such thing.  We all know it.  The reality is that some days piano practice looks like this:

I'm very excited about homeschooling next year, but I'm not sure how we can afford it.  I love teaching my kids everything, but then some days I don't.  Some days I feel as eloquent as Madeline L'Engle or Anne Lamott.  And other days I can't form a proper sentence.  It's just how life rolls.  

What I can do, with no shame, is laugh.  Laugh at myself.  Laugh with my kids at their stupid (that's right, I said stupid) knock-knock jokes.  Like this one:  

"Knock Knock"

"Who's There?"

"Interrupting cow."

"Interrupting cow wh..."

"OINK!!!"

It makes no sense.  But it makes me laugh every time.  And that's good.

This makes me laugh, too.  My warrior-princess-ninja...  She's just too awesome.

So here's my reminder to myself- and to any other wretched soul who's trying to glean wisdom from this blog:  Quit taking yourself so seriously.  Life is hard sometimes.  It really is.  But it's the moments when we laugh, sometimes even at each other, that we will cherish forever.  No one wants to hear about the poop accident your 3 year old had at the play area in the grocery store.  They really don't.  Focus on the laughs.  

Mommy Don't Go! How to Say Goodbye...

It's always hard to say goodbye to Mommy.  When I began going to the gym in the evenings last fall we ran into some separation anxiety with our little Baby Rain.  I recently began to work outside the home (just a few nights a week) which meant my absence was felt not just during bedtime, but also during dinner and the hour beyond.

While Grace-girl, almost 7, is now old enough to understand reason (she still misses her Mama, sometimes, and has always been a fairly sensitive child), Baby Rain is not quite 3 and still has strong feelings about the subject!  So this mama did what any good mama would do.  I requested a bunch of books from the local library.  Your library has them too!  Search under "separation anxiety" or ask your children's librarian for suggestions.  Most books in this category are geared towards the first day of school, but I've found that these are equally helpful for little ones as they don't really know the difference between "school" and "playing at someone's house."  Books about loss are also good for this category (Think: Knuffle Bunny and Have You Seen Duck?, a current favorite at our house).

Some Favorite Books at Our House:

The first two are not specifically related to "school" but rather are simply how little ones cope with missing Mommy.  For the record, there are GREAT books about kiddos missing Daddy or other caregivers.  These just really hit home for my kids and me since I'm their primary caregiver.  

• Owl Babies has been in my arsenal for awhile.  This book was a favorite with both girls at the toddler stage.  It really helps them grasp the idea that Mommy always comes back.  We do have to learn to wait and be patient and maybe even worry a little, but every kid who's read this book can repeat Bill's special line, "I want my Mommy!"  Some of the illustrations are dark (owls are nocturnal, afterall), but never scary.  My favorite picture is the one at the end when the baby owls dance around on their branch.  Pure elation!  Mama has returned!

• Piglet and Mama was/is another fave for both my girls.  In this case, Mama appears to be lost, but in the end she was looking for piglet the whole time.  In this sweet story, Piglet meets several other animals around the farm who offer her an activity to share with their own little ones, but each time it simply says, "But Piglet wanted her Mama."  For some reason I always inextricably insert a "No thank you" before piglet asserts her desire for Mommy.  No need to be rude, after all!  The playful illustrations add a lightness to the story rather than a scary element for the sensitive crowd.  The simplicity is winsome and not tiring at all.

• Llama Llama Misses Mama is a sweet story I found in my recent search for books about this topic.  I do love that sweet, passionate little llama.  Who doesn't?  The illustrations in this book are so exquisite that you can almost taste the tears running down little Llama's face when, finally, "it was all too much for little Llama" and he breaks down crying at the snack table at his new preschool.  All is well in the end, of course, when his new friends gather round him and the teacher reminds him that his mama will come back at the end of the day.  The scene of their reunion is a mess of tossed crayons and joyful exuberance.  Love it.  And in the end Llama Llama decides he loves Mama AND school.  

These last two I like because they give you an action point- they remind you that you can DO something about missing Mommy.  These are better for kids who are a bit older (stories are longer), perhaps more school-age, but still apply to little ones as well.

• The Kissing Hand is a classic book about little raccoon who is heading off to his first day of school.  Of course, Raccoon school is at night!  Again, the illustrations are beautiful and the story poignant.  Mama gives little Raccoon a special kiss that will remind him of her throughout his night at school.  This is a sweet story that also allows reciprocation for little Raccoon to give Mama a special kiss of her own so she won't miss him too much, either.  And off he scampers to school.

• The Kiss Box is about a mother who has to go away for awhile and how she soothes the concerns of her little bear.  Finally the little bear decides to make a box to store the kisses in that she will send when she is away.  This is a strategy that has worked in my family, too.  Only I like to cut out tiny paper hearts and fill the kiss boxes with both real kisses and the paper reminders.

Now that you know how to help your little one cope with separation- how do you deal with it?  Come visit me at my other blog for help with that one!

On the Road

Grace-girl- she always wanted those eye thingies.  And no, she didn't actually sleep.

Our adventurous little family recently embarked on a 3000 mile road trip from Oregon to New Mexico and back again.  I could start a new blog for this topic, but I'll restrain myself. As you can imagine, we spent a lot of time in the car.  Here are a few things I learned, in a nutshell!

1.  Make a plan, but don't be afraid to change it.  I spent hours planning, organizing, and preparing for this trip.  Games, toys, educational activities, homeschool curriculum, daily snacks, music, and even some videos all took up space in our front seat area.  I planned for everything.  Every good place to stop and run around, every meal, every little detail.  Then I set it down and let it go.  Whew.  It's nice to be prepared (just in case) but not something I have to be controlling about.  It's always good to expect the unexpected; like a delicious burger joint in Central California (Eddie's Famous Cafe- Eddie even gave us free cinnamon rolls), or a truly interesting rest stop in New Mexico.  You just never know what you might find!

The first of 3 KOA cabins, all exactly the same!  Talk about easy...

2. Try to maintain your normal routine, at least to a certain extent, for the happiness of the whole crew.  We happen to use a curriculum that is heavy on memorization and auditory learning.  So you can now imagine us rocking out to such hits as, "The Timeline Song," "The US Presidents" and don't forget that amazing ditty, "The Preposition Song." Every morning we started our morning with breakfast at the campsite (we stayed at KOA campgrounds the whole way down for consistency and ease of travel- the cabins are the way to go when stopping for a quick overnight- we stayed with family and varied places on the way home), then mom or dad packed the car while the other ran the kids around at the playground (almost all KOAs have playgrounds).  After hopping in the car we did our Bible reading and prayer time then jumped into memory work.  By the time we finished all that the first hour was well behind us.  Grace-Girl also filled out a daily journal page each morning.  We spent time each evening to sit down and have dinner together, do our normal bed-time routine (as much as possible) and re-pack for the next day (snacks, car reorganization, etc.).  It was worth it.

The girls at Arches National Park

3. Enjoy the Road!  We were definitely on a schedule that didn't allow long stops, as we wanted lots of time with family at our destination, but we made a few exceptions: one morning at Arches National Park and one morning at The New Mexico Natural History Museum in Albuquerque.  We powered through the first two days (though we did make short stops to run around) and slowed down on the last two days.  Daddy and I also found time in the evenings to have fun- we played games, watched movies (all KOAs have free wi-fi) and took some time for "us" all while the girls were sleeping peacefully in the cabin.  

Many happy travels to you and yours this holiday season!  Don't forget to visit Pinterest for every idea of a car game you could possibly imagine. 

First Grade Common Core

One of the challenges of homeschooling is figuring out exactly what your kids "need" to know.  Here in Oregon we only have to face standardized testing a few times (3rd, 5th 8th and 10th grades) and otherwise it's really up to us how we choose to home educate.  There are several philosophies about this, some folks choose to make it up as they go along, or trust that the curriculum they are using is enough.  Some prefer to ignore the "requirements" and allow their children to learn at their own pace.  The rest of us just have to KNOW!  :)  Whatever your philosophy, here's a great resource that's worth a peek.  

This First Grade Common Core workbook is the largest collection of resources for teaching the Common Core State Standards. This workbook includes reams of worksheets, activities, and posters that cover Language Arts and Math.   They have the Common Core Standards Workbooks for Kindergarten through Grade 5 (though the Grades 3-5 aren't available just yet).

I took a peek at a sample (you can download it, here) and the worksheets seem easy to follow and read.  The directions are straightforward.  Even more exciting are the colorful activities and posters that could be used for homeschool-style folder games or even lapbooks.  Lots of fun ideas, here.  

It's always up to us as parent educators to decide what and how our kids should learn.  But sometimes it's nice to get a look at what our kids really need to know.  If my kids need to go back to public or private school, I want them to be ready to meet the standard.  

I was offered a free copy of the First Grade Common Core Workbook in exchange for this blog post.  Thanks to http://www.hipmamasplace.com/2012/05/summer-reading-programs-for-kids-2012.html for the cute pics of the babies reading, too.  :)

A Homeschool Day in the Life...

I've been reading quite a few "Day in the Life" blogs by fellow homeschooling moms (and a few dads).  While I'm tempted to share a "perfect" day in my life as a homeschooling mom, I suddenly realize there is no such thing.  My best intentions are often dashed by the wayside of the freight train called Real Life.  And no two days really look the same.  So here goes- a random day in my homeschool life with two girls, 5 and 18 months, though a fairly typical Thursday.

Thursday-

4:30 am- Baby-Rain wakes up and snuggles up in bed with me and Daddy
5:30 am- Daddy gets up with baby - I roll over with a pillow over my head
6:30 am- I get up so my husband can get ready for work.
7:00 am- Dad leaves for work.  I pour my second cup of coffee.  Read books with baby, try to get caught up on chores.
7:30-8:00 am- Grace-Girl rolls out of bed.  Not literally, as it is a six foot drop to the floor.  Blurry-eyed, wanting to snuggle on the couch.  All.  Day.  Long.
8:15 am- We girls manage to sit down for breakfast.  No one in this family does well without food.
8:30 am- Bible Reading and Calendar- we rotate a few different kids' devotional books.  We also work on our memory verse, which is posted by our calendar, here in the kitchen.  We review the season, month, year, days of the week, day of the month... etc.  Then we talk about our daily schedule.  I do all this while my older daughter eats because she is incredibly SLOW and I get tired of waiting for her to finish.
9:15 am- Chores- This includes getting dressed, tidying up room, brushing hair and teeth, etc.  But we also include things like, "be a cheerful helper."  Many tears are shed at our house over hair brushing.  Note to self: it grows back.  Cut it off.
10:00 am- Toddler Storytime at our local library is the one activity we do that centers around my younger daughter.  As a homeschool family we easily haul 25 books a week from the library (the kids are still pretty young- I'm sure this number will rise). I go online to order most of what I want to bring home, then we pick out a few at the library.
11:00 am- As I'm checking out the pile of books we're hauling home and re-connecting with a friend I haven't seen in awhile, Baby Rain is methodically pulling books off the reserve shelf and removing the name labels from each book.
11:20 am- Thankful for the rice cakes I keep in the van for moments like this 7 minute ride from the library to the house.  It seems more like an hour with all that screeching.
11:45 am- Lunch. Usually left-overs.  Baby fell asleep in the car, so she's down for her nap.
12:10 pm- Read a bunch of new library books with Grace-girl.  This is one of my favorite things about Thursdays!
1:00 pm- Quiet Time.  We monitor TV time carefully at our house (we don't actually have a television, just our computer)- but today Grace-girl gets about an hour of Backyardigans while I catch up on napping and an episode of Downton Abbey on my Kindle Fire.  That's right.  I'm being completely honest, here.
2:00 pm- Impromptu reading lesson with Grace-girl.  Reviewing digraphs and blends (sh, th, ch, wh)
2:15 pm- Baby-rain wakes up- snack-time.
2:30 pm- Piano lesson with me.  Finding middle "c," learning about octaves and playing a tune by ear (Mary Had a Little Lamb).
2:40 pm- music lessons evolve into dancing around the living room with some latin dance cd (thanks, Dora)
3:00 pm- Get Outside.  We pull weeds and jump on the trampoline until daddy gets home, and to heck with the mess in the house.  The girls like to get as dirty as possible, so I let them.
4:30 pm- Daddy gets home- girls head to the bathtub- we all prepare for our evening.
5:30 pm- Dinner
7:00 pm- Baby Rain in bed
8:00 pm- Grace-girl in bed
*whew*  Each day is a little different, but somehow we find a rhythm through it all.  And it's usually not the one I thought it would be when I planned our schedule in August.  Enjoy the things that make your family special!  And guard your quiet time.  :)

Is my Kindle a book?

I haven't been posting because I've been too busy with my 2 Kindles.  Yup.  One old fashioned 3rd Gen. that I like to use for reading and the other is my new toy, the Kindle Fire.  My real dilemma goes beyond whether it is morally reprehensible for a true lover of books to own a Kindle (of course it is) or how much to let my kids play with my new Fire (I don't even let my husband play with it). 

Here's my actual problem: 

The nearly 18 month old baby calls my Kindle a book.  She actually calls the Fire "bubbles" because of that silly bubble app she gets to play with sometimes (it's really dumb but super fun, the best kind of app).  But when we have snuggle time (i.e. breastfeeding a toddler) I immediately reach for my "book" (Kindle 3).  The trouble started when she looked at me, questioningly, and said, "bubbles?"   I said, "no honey, that's mommy's...um...book.  No bubbles.  The bubbles are on my other Kindle." 

I understand that there are about 15 things inherently wrong with this whole conversation, knowing, as you do (in my narcissistic reality), that I'm a Charlotte-Mason-inspired,-Classical-Education-fan-with-a-slight-bend-toward-unschooling kind of momma.  If you have no idea what any of that meant, just know that I obsess too much about what matters to me and how I will ever teach it to my kids.

So here is my actual, actual problem:

1) Why am I reading when I should be making eye contact with my child or singing or teaching her the a-b-c's or something useful?  Frankly- because it's about the only chance I have to read these days.

2) Why do I need 2 Kindles?  The answer is actually another question:  Why do I feel a need to explain the difference between the two to my toddler?  The real answer of course is that I don't like major reading on a backlit screen and the old Kindle just doesn't do what the Fire does.

3)  Is it really a book?  I'll leave the answer to this one to the experts.  The debate rages on.

In the meantime, you can follow my reading trends on Goodreads.  There's an android app for that. 

Homeschool kid confesses: I don't like books.

My five year old daughter told me the last week that she doesn't like books.  Seriously?  We read at least an hour every day, what with school reading, bedtime reading and in between reading.  Probably more than an hour a day.  I never thought I'd be seeking advice on how to instill a love of reading in MY kid.  I feel like a dentist who just found a cavity in my own child. I sell children's books for crying out loud.

My first instinct:
PANIC

WHAT?  Of COURSE you love books!  Of COURSE you're just saying that because you don't want to hear me read the books I've picked out, right?  Right?

But she told me she doesn't like reading on her own, either.  *sigh*
more panic.
more mayhem.
more self-inflicted pain and suffering.

Then I decided to get to the bottom of the problem.

"Mom, we just have too many books.  And they're boring.  I like books about how to do things, and science books and stuff."

Ah ha.  Panic over.  She's ready for harder books. And it's time to downsize.
We spend a great deal of time in the non-fiction section of our children's library, but I do still pick up picture books now and then for the four year old we watch a few days a week, for our baby, and for the five year old, too.

I was able to explain that reading is a gateway to independent learning.  That when she is able to read on her own she will be free to learn about things that are interesting to her and she can learn them in her own way.  I explained that most of the books we have we are saving until her baby sister is ready for them.  Said five-year-old is truly beyond most of them.

In the meantime, we took a little break.  I didn't push it.  I skipped the library one week *gasp* and played charades one night instead of bedtime stories.  So what.  Go ahead- put me in homeschool jail.

We finished reading "The Best Christmas Pageant Ever" today.  We charged through a couple chapters because she wanted to finish it.  She's excited about our library trip, tomorrow.  She's been reading on her own, more.  Maybe she just needed a break and maybe I'm a good mom for stopping to listen. 

Just curious:
How do you handle disturbing revelations like this?  Do you panic, like me, or are you more gracious?

The cheapest, free-est way to organize your homeschool life EVER.

In a typical fit of organization that comes every September, I decided to get things sorted out at my house.  As is typical of me, I reviewed every possible way of doing calendars, chores, and everything else and then decided to come up with my own thing.  Everything I used I had on hand except printer ink, cardstock, and printer paper.  It was spurred on by an offer from a friend to use her laminator (thank you!).  I decided to use the calendar we have been using (the only thing here that really cost money), but to hang it in the kitchen on our laundry room/pantry door (it faces into the kitchen and is visible from the kitchen table).  I wanted to have this be our homeschool calendar-center where we also could check in about chores and daily activities.  If you look closely you can see our Bible verses we're currently working on (Psalm 100) above the schedule on the right side.  This is obviously for me, not for her, as she's not reading quite that well, yet.  It is nice for her to have the visual reminder, though.

I put together a laminated daily schedule sheet with laminated activities and velcro to put them all on the schedule.  I opted not to use pictures, mostly because I didn't want to spend time doing it, and it would have made the activity cards too long and too... well... cluttered.  I used an outline-style  font and colored them in myself and glued them onto black cardstock before laminating (cute, huh?)

I also organized a chore chart system that I thought would work best for us.  It's space-saving, flexible and easy to use.  My Grace-girl (5) and I both enjoy the mystery of drawing a stick and finding your chore rather than having it all laid out all the time.  Either way the fish gets fed, right?  Hers have pictures as well as chores.  Some of my favorites: "Tidy bedroom."  "Get dressed."  "Help mommy fold laundry."  "Be a cheerful helper."

I didn't have any popsicle sticks (we make our own popsicles) or I would have used that system.  I did have enough sticks for a system that I hung in the office to manage screen-time- similar to our chore envelopes.  I give her about 50 minutes a day to start with (in 10's and 20's), though it often disappears throughout the day as she chooses to spend time doing other things.  Like somersaults.  When we're trying to leave to go somewhere.  Now.

I know this will all stop working after a few months, but at least when we're ready to come back it will be there.  Taunting me.  Haunting me.  But ready for me.  Remember: the key is to do what will work for you and your family:  figuring this out seems to be the hard part.  What system works for you?  Why is it so darn important, anyway?  (my husband would probably like to know why I can spend hours on this little project but the kitchen remains a disaster)  Share your thoughts! 

Homeschooling in Central Oregon

I recently published an article about home education here in Central Oregon.  I was able to highlight three families with different styles and reasons for homeschooling and also provide lots of info about homeschooling in general.

Here on my blog I have many more resources listed under the "Our Homeschool" page including a list of favorite books that led me to homeschooling and a quick synopsis of some of the more popular styles or philosophies of home education.

Through an informal survey of almost 100 home educators in Central Oregon, I was able to create a comprehensive list of local activities available to homeschoolers including a list of things that folks wish were available (there was some overlap, so I'm hoping people will read this blog to find out about what they are missing!).

I truly enjoyed hearing the stories of why people choose to home educate as well as the styles they employ and the joys and difficulties they encounter on the way.  Enjoy the article here and find more resources here!

photo credit: True North: Central Oregon Parenting

 

When does mommy read?

I laughed at myself, today, when I realized I have a book hidden in every room of this house.  You never know when you might have a moment to escape!  I spend a lot of time talking on this blog about what I'm reading to my kids.  Well, here's what I am reading these days:

• In the Bathroom:  There's always a Time magazine or National Geographic nearby when I need my space.  However, this week I've found myself reviewing an old favorite:  Dr. Sears' The Baby Book: Everything You Need to Know About Your Baby form Birth to Age Two.  It's such a great book!  I know I can look it up online, but sometimes it's nice to look in a book.
• In Bed: I've been keeping my Kindle by my bed.  Currently I'm reading Dan Brown's new book.  It's all fun, people.  I don't believe a word of it.  :)
• By the couch: I'm catching up on a book I should have read a long time ago.  It's called Ptarmigan Telegraph.  It's about the history of Christian radio station KICY, in Nome, AK.  My maternal grandfather was instrumental in starting the station, so it's fun to read about it.
• In the office:  It's all business in here.  If I have a moment to read when I'm not at the computer, I'm reviewing the book I'm using to teach June to read, The Ordinary Parent's Guide to Teaching Reading.  I don't use it as a textbook, more just a guide.  Works great for me!  Or I'm checking in with other homeschooling books I like (check out my homeschooling tab on this blog)
• In the kitchen: I'm always reading a cookbook or two.  The Vegetarian Epicure, or The Super Baby Food book.  Of course, my Bible lives in the kitchen, too and I steal my moments with it, when I am able.

 What are you reading, friends?  I'd love to hear what reading material sits by your bed, or on your kitchen table.

Don't YOU have a dream, Mommy?

   

Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.

How do you explain the significance of this holiday to a 4 year old?

Maybe you don't need to.

Maybe she just needs to witness her mama sitting in the car in the parking lot at the grocery store, crying her eyes out to the tune of,

I have a dream

that my four little children will one day live in a nation 

where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, 

but by the content of their character.

Maybe it's enough.  Dear God, please let it be enough.  Let this man's life stand as a witness not just to racial prejudice, but also to moral and economic injustice.  Let my kids see the better world they live in, instead of the worse one.

Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that. 

Then I remembered standing in my kitchen, the night Barack Obama was named the next president of the United States and I turned to my husband and said, "this is an amazing moment in history, and here we are standing in the middle of it."

Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.

I remember a class full of Navajo kids.  We sang Jesus Loves me in Navajo.  I still remember the syllables, carefully burned into my memory.  But mostly I remember wishing that I could live in the dorms like the other kids.

We must learn to live together as brothers or perish together as fools.

Fast forward to that parking lot, again, today.  I found myself doing the cliche...
"Martin was kind of like Jesus, honey.  He didn't get to come back to life, but his story will never end."

My husband finally turned off the radio and we went in to buy our new running shoes and bananas and whatever other inconsequential stuff was on our list today.
But I hope my girl will remember.  Today is about a dream.  What's your dream?

I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear.

The Halloween Conundrum

I did trick-or-treat once or twice in my childhood, it just wasn't a big deal.  I don't feel like I missed anything.  As an adult I'm turned off by the commercialism, the candy and the greed that permeates this holiday, BUT I can't deny the fact that it is the one holiday that really promotes community.  When else do you get to wander around your neighborhood, knocking on doors, and not one gets slammed in your face?  So... I've been struggling with whether or not to celebrate Halloween in our family for a few years, knowing that we could buy some time while our eldest was so young. My husband has no moral issue with it, leaving the decision up to me.  Yikes.  But this year I've finally reached a decision (I know you are all waiting with bated breath). 

The answer is "yes."

Now for the Why:

1. Halloween builds community.  We live on a corner lot, across from a park, under a streetlight, in a very family-oriented neighborhood.  I knew there would be lots of kids out, tonight.  Every parent who came to the door with their kids now knows we live here.  They saw that we have two girls, our house isn't perfect, and we care.  They are learning to trust us.  If there is one thing that my husband and I feel called to do, it is build community where we live.  Love God, love people.  As a homeschooling family I don't want to be completely isolated (and we definitely are not) from the neighborhood kids and the world around us.
2. My desire not to do Halloween was entirely too wrapped up in worrying what people think of me and confusing myself in the process.  Ok.  Maybe I was passing a little judgment, too, if I'm honest with myself.
3. Jesus loved the un-lovables.  He probably would've hung out with that werewolf kid from down the street, too.  Not that he would have gorged on candy, but I like to think he would at least give something out at his door.
4. We can hold our moral ground as a family and still have fun.  We know where we draw the line for our kids, and that's the only line we need to worry about.  The kids will be exposed to "scary" stuff.  That's life.  And honestly, I don't think Halloween is half as insidious as Christmas.  Don't hate me for saying that, I do LOVE Christmas.

I'm fairly certain we are all familiar with the "why-nots" of Halloween.  I just thought I'd share a little of my process in working through this tough topic.  You know what's best for your own family, right?

We limited our small kids to one community event and handing out candy at our door.  Our focus is definitely on fall and the changing of the seasons, and has always included pumpkins, pumpkin patch trips, leaf jumping and more.  I suppose each year will add more excitement, a line drawn a bit further down the road, and more discussion about the meaning of Halloween.  In the meantime, stay posted for my overly passionate dissertation on Block Parties!  Coming soon- hopefully next summer, straight to you from the lady who over-thinks everything.

Do you have a Tiger inside?

Yesterday I chased my daughter around the house, trying to trap her under a plastic laundry basket.  She insisted that she was a tiger who needed to be caged.  The growling, showing of claws and pouncing verified her identity.  She was clearly seeking a safe place to feel "tiger-ish," but I don't want her to be caged... I want her to be free.  How to do I teach my daughter that her "tiger" feelings are ok? 

I've been blessed with a kid who has a lot of feelings.  Or that's how we describe it.  Some would say she's also a "sensitive" child.  This means we encounter lots of tantrums, some harsh words and actions that require tough consequences, and an overabundance of goofy fun!  Knowing that soon she'll be sharing her life with a baby sister, we've been encountering more than the usual outbursts from our deep feeler.  We've just finished a little homeschooling unit about Fruits of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23) in which we also discussed trees, family trees and lots of other fun stuff.  Our last "fruit" we studied was "self-control." 

Here are some things I used to discuss self-control with my almost-four-year-old:

• In preparation I found this great behavior template from the NASP (National Association of School Psychologists) about teaching young children self-control that helped me think about what exactly I wanted to teach and how I would teach it.
• We listened to The Music Machine song about self-control.  We've been adding a new song for each "fruit" and discussing what they mean.
• We read the book "Emily's Tiger" by Miriam Latimer.  This is a great Barefoot Book about learning self-control and understanding your feelings before they control you!  We talked about some of the coping skills Emily's grandmother helped her learn.  And she saw that there are safe people in your life who want to help you learn to cope.  Another great book about self-control is "Pinkalicious" by Elizabeth and Victoria Kann (not a Barefoot Book).  It's more about controlling your desires than your feelings, but still great.  We also discussed Adam and Eve in the garden and their lack of self-control when faced with temptation.
• I helped my daughter make little monster faces, each expressing different feelings.  We talked about what her body feels like when she's feeling these different things and then we hung them up on the back of her door in her room.  When I send her to her room to take some space (not a time-out- it's not a punishment, just a chance for her to calm down), she can look at her monsters and decide how she's feeling (happy, sad, angry, lonely, etc.).  Then we can discuss what happened with a better point of reference.
• Of course we did actual school work!   Careful cutting and pasting, working with her writing and reading, and math skills all require great self-control and discipline.

How do you handle the issue of self-control in your family?  I'd love to hear more ideas, as I'm sure the topic is far from exhausted in our house!

...Ode to a laminator...

I apologize for being absent

my life has become "grab and go"

with one child beginning to homeschool

and the other just starting to grow

2 months of winter still waiting

and my printer is near out of ink

there must something to help simplify

if I could just sit down and think

I could use some glue, or a giant grater

I'd settle for an amicable alligator

I could use a heart, a hello or some help

but all I really need is a little laminator.

My Story... a work in progress

Blogging has forced me to be a little honest about myself: Apparently, I'm not perfect. Sad, but true. I'm not unique in this; I am a mom. Here are some of my top issues:

1) Parenting: I'm not a fan of being forced to parent someone else's kid because they don't feel like it (of course I don't mean you, silly!). I am, apparently, a big fan of standing on a soapbox and preaching about it.
2) Junk food and sugar: It's a special treat. That doesn't mean they should serve it at every event where children are welcome to attend. Would the world collapse if someone offered a 3 year old a carrot stick? If they're hungry enough... well, you know how that goes.
3) Commercialized toys and other junk: Don't we have enough to shield our children from without having to be worried about lead paint, choking hazards and commercialization? I say, let them play with blocks and read books. It won't kill them to be the last kid on the block to play Rock Band.

That's enough ranting for one day. I enjoy the simple things and I want my kids to enjoy them, too. Is that too much to ask? How about you? Is there something in your world that drives you to the edge of crazy? Or beyond? I'd love to hear about it!

Out of the Mouth of Babes

Parenting is hard enough without all the confusing messages out there. We adopt a style when our babies are young, but most parenting books drop off around age 2. Part of living a Barefoot life, for me, is creating a healthy, happy, nutritional soil for my daughter's emotional, spiritual and physical growth. A child-centered approach can be tricky, especially with the inundation of glossy-one-paragraph-theories that are so popular right now in the parenting world. I was just beginning to notice a second grey streak in my hair when a new book arrived on my doorstep, thanks to the moms at Mother-Talk and Mom Central.



Author Dyan Eybergen is a pediatric psychiatric nurse, but she's also a mom. This is obvious by the practical wisdom in her book, Out of the Mouth of Babes: Parenting from a Child's Perspective. Dyan has delivered a gently constructed book directing the parent to "develop an understanding for how a child sees and feels about a given situation, to listen to and respect your child's point of view, and to attune to a child's individual needs and personality, and parent him accordingly." Prosaic and situational, but practical, this book was the perfect read for rare stolen moments throughout my day. One particular afternoon I landed smack in the middle of Chapter 7: Discipline. We always strive to use natural consequences at our house, and Dyan had plenty to offer in this vein. By the end of the day I was implementing some new ideas. Simple. Commonsense. Why was I not doing this, already?

For example: Dyan suggests that when giving a time-out to a child, you should not give them warnings beyond the first recognition of misbehavior. I had fallen into a particularly nasty trap of warnings with my daughter. I can proudly say I am recovering from this illness and enjoying the fruits! My daughter is also learning t0 practice self-quieting during time-outs and is recognizing when she is ready to rejoin the activity at hand without an arbitrary time-limit.

This books offers a refreshing reminder to recognize your child's uniqueness and suggestions on tailoring your parenting to fit the individual child. Clearly, the author has been down the road of "one size does not fit all" parenting and she now offers her wisdom to the rest of us. One of the best parts of this book is the collection of children's quotes throughout. I'll leave you with a couple:

"If you won't let me have a cookie before breakfast, how am I going to grow any bigger?" -Talen, age 4

"I don't want to go on time-out. Maybe you should go back to babysitting school." -Kohan, age 6